When I hear the word ‘happy’, it evokes many things inside of me. From an emotional standpoint, I think of blissful laughter, companionship and smiling. From a physical perspective, I think of health and good choices and from a spiritual point of view, I think of peace and complete joy.
In the age of capitalism, mass media and consumer lifestyle when everything, even emotions and trust, is nothing more than consumable goods and people are exchangeable, it seems that relationships have lost their weight. Nowadays, people often change their partners without establishing feeling real connections. Even if they do start “going steady” with someone, somehow being in a relationship doesn’t seem to have the same meaning and depth as it used to.
Fortunately, growing up in a happy home, I’ve had an opportunity to witness love and marriage at their noblest and purest through my parents. With them, as my role models and guides, I’ve learnt what a true and happy marriage looks like, which is why I’m going to live by the old-fashioned advice that will fill my relationship/marriage with love, support and respect.
In definition, a happy marriage is a cocktail of open communication, honesty, hard work and a whole lot of love. It is being happy with what you’ve got, rather than expecting your marriage to be in a certain way. In other words, marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official and permanent. It is also referred to as the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death.
One key to being happy in any marriage/relationship is to effectively and openly communicate with your spouse and ask your spouse what makes him/her happy. Define your short-term goals, define your long-term goals, do what you can each day to make your spouse happy, do get rid of the ‘if’ factor, do care more about pleasing your mate than yourself {This doesn’t mean you don’t take care of yourself, it’s just for you to pay more attention to what would please your mate and by so doing, amazing things happen}.
Other keys to a happy marriage include, Complimenting your spouse: These compliments need to be sincere, so look for the things you really like about your mate, then don’t just think it, speak it and do it. Words can build relationship or destroy it hence let your words be those that build honesty and love. Speak it from your heart and your love will be healthier for it. Do talk about what is troubling you: If something is in the more-than-a-little-annoying category, talk about it with your spouse. Maybe he/she is not hanging up their clothes and it’s bugging you. When couples face the issues that troubles them without letting them linger and fester, then the marriage has a far better chance of a lasting happiness. Don’t mention your spouse’s faults to other: Talking negatively about your spouse to friends or family is a betrayal. Don’t mentally focus on the negatives: We all have areas that need improvement. Look, instead, for the positives in your mate. When negative thoughts come into your mind, regarding your spouse, replace them with something that you admire. Don’t judge yourself or your spouse too strictly: No marriage is perfect. It’s about growing and learning to love, letting faith rise all along the journey. Don’t go to bed mad: In fact, don’t go to bed at all if you’re fighting. Work it out! Don’t stop communicating: Keep talking even if it means, at times, a few heated fights. Communication is the life of any kind of relationship. Don’t believe the grass is greenest on the other side: According to a popular singer, he said “the grass aren’t greener on the other side”. Couples should learn to stay and water their own marriages if need be and not just getting up to leave because if it’s not watered, it withers and die.
It is imperative for couples to understand that marriage is not a child’s play. It’s an institution made by God himself with instructions attached to it. It is said to be a school where both parties study each other, given certificates but no graduation. God is the One who joined you together. He is the One who ordained marriage thus if you need guidance in your marriage, ask from the One who abundantly and freely gives.